"Who is this Mike guy?"

Name: Mike Punter Madden, IV
Occupation: 3rd shift clerk at Inconvenience Store #4521, located at the corner of That Street and That Other Street, in sunny Southeastern USA. It's either the best or the worst job on earth, and I can't wait to figure out which.
Hobbies: Griping, moaning, wailing, keening, amateur brain surgery, recreational nuclear physics, and finding New and Interesting ways to say "I love you".
Religion: Maybe.
Political Affiliations: Libertarian Socialist.
Sexual Orientation: East.
Age: About as old as I appear to be.
Psychological Disorders: See political affiliations.
Reason for Writing These Rants: Am not getting nearly enough hate e-mail from eejits.

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