Q:Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
A:Yes, I realize, but -
Q!!!!:Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
A: Shut up, white woman!! Do you want me tae answer ir nae?
Q: Er, yeah, like, whatever. Like, does it?
A: NO!!!! It DOES NAE matter how "cute" ir stupid ir fluffy ir number ay Rolexs ir number ay ex-husbands ye own!!!! It's still illegal tae drive drunk, I dinnae care how much Kristopher-Brendan's cheatin on ye wi yir best friend has upset ye!!! Now go tae jail like a good white git and maybe Us Behind the Counter will bring ye beef jerky oan visitin day!!! Now get the hell OOT ay me store!!
ARGGGgghhh!!! I tell ye. White people, whae can ye do?
Nae much. Fir example, true story:
A 100 year old woman wis found dead in her car at the bottom ay a lake. Cause of death wis determined tae be thit she wis drivin, she had a heart attack, her car veered off the road and she went intae the water.
Whae do 10 out ay 9.99999... white people want tae know?
"Was it the heart attack that killed the poor old dear, or was it the drowning?"
Whae dis 1000 out ay 5 Us Behind the You Know What want tae know?
WHAE IN THE HELL WAS A 100 YEAR OLD WOMAN DOING DRIVING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
Aren't there limits? Isn't there some point at which the government says, "Look, you're too old, slow, and incompetent and oh yes did we mention OLD to do this particular thing anymore"?
Or: "At your age, with your lack of motor and mental skills, allowing you to perform this particular activity endangers not only yourself but also those around you"?
Oh, wait. This is the gov that lets Strom Thurman continue to serve.
Nevermind.
Look, white people, YOU CAN'T DRIVE. Accept it. Face it. Deal.
With.
It.
You speed like the speed limit was at best a suggestion, you drink and drive like it's NOT a capital offense -
Whae? Oh, yeah, right.
It's not. Yet.
The way I would do it would be like this:
First DUI: No more driving. Ever.
Second offense: What, you're still driving? Great. Well, let's see. None of this DUI school crap, etc, no second chances. You lose a foot. The one that works the gas pedal. And you lose a hand. The one you used tae lift thit beer tae yir smeggy lips.
Third offense: death.
Whae's the difference between driving drunk and attempted murder?
I "DINNAE KEN". You tell me. Way I see it, it's at least as serious and seriously stupid as taking a loaded pistol to the mall, closing your eyes and firing randomly.
Sure, you're not exactly TRYING to hurt anyone.
"But I didn't mean to hurt anyone!!!"
What every DUI offender says when they kill someone.
I have nae respect.
You know what my job is?
I'm a cop. Wi no badge, no gun, no backup.
C-store workers do more tae keep drunks off the road (ir at least getting drunker) than most cops do all doughnut.
Next time ye drive home and DON'T die, thank Us.
Maybe it's cause I'm Pakistani. Maybe it's cause I'm a tenth Amish on me mum's side. Way I see it, the huge, loud, smelly hunks of metal moving very very very fast. Think we need tae work on these laws, here. Make people AFRAID tae speed. Instead ay tickets, why not puncture tires? One tire per five miles hour over speed limit.
Bring back the ball n chain. "Ye like going so fast, Red Neck? Try going fast wi this locked ontae yir ankle!"
I "dinnae ken". Just some idle, mainly illogical, hopefully inflammatory suggestions.
PS: Remember, every time you feed that damned cat, you're just encouraging the furry urchin tae live.